Disco Queen
by alucards conscience
Summary: This should be funny, I have come up with a comedy, Don't worry it will get funnier as I write. Please read and review!
1. Chapter 1

Disco Queen

Ok going to take a break from drama and write some funny stuff. Believe it or not this was my mom's idea

Lol. Please read and let me know how you like it!

"I can't take it anymore!" Alucard shifted through the wall into the kitchen where Walter had resided to make tea. "What the warm weather" The old man replied fanning his face with a napkin. "That and Her!" He pointed upward where Integrals office would be.

"She is so bitchy!" Seras had walked in her face pale red. "Oh you noticed huh?" Alucard asked laughing as she slumped into a chair. "She has been getting a little on the moody side" Walter said as he drained the tea into a pitcher. "I think she needs a hobby" Seras said leaning back. "she does have a hobby, being bitchy!" The elder vampire stated.

"Well at least she hasn't gone into midlife crisis yet, although we better enjoy the few years that will lead up to it" Walter said sighing. "What's midlife crisis?" Seras asked with a goofy smile. "Well Alucard you remember when her father would drag me out of the house with a big backpack?" the man said rolling his eyes.

"What are you guys talking about?" Pip had now joined. "Shut-up Pip I'm about to find out what midlife crisis is" Seras said leaning farther to meet his gaze. "What is that why she's like she is?" Pip said laughing. "Go on Walter this is interesting" Alucard urged him to finish his story.

"Anyway, he used to go to disco clubs and act like a bohemian fool" Walter slapped his forehead remembering the times. "What the old man went to clubs!" Alucard could not believe what he was hearing. "Yes, disco clubs" Walter sighed again.

"Ok so you go into midlife crisis when you do disco, whatever that is?" Seras asked becoming even more confused. "Don't be so dense, midlife is when you reach forty and you get bored, so you try to be a kid again and fail" Alucard said nodding in agreement. "Oh and I guess that's what you did because you passed forty along time ago" Seras said smirking.

"Well Alucard is right about the midlife but the disco was a form of dance a long time ago" Walter blushed. "Care to explain why your embarrassed" Pip said noticing the look on the old mans face. "Alright I tried to dance once, I never got the hang of it" He was beet red by this point.

"You mean to tell me that you and Auther were at a club dancing!" Alucard went into a mad laughing fit trying to picture the two dancing. "So how do you disco anyway?" Seras asked. "I saw it once in an old movie, they were doing this" Pip said trying to imitate the dance moves. He spread his feet apart and moved his hips in a rather strange fashion, moving two fingers across his face. Seras was laughing so hard she fell out of the chair.

"Well what do you think?" He asked out of breath. "I think you need lessons" Walter said shaking his head. "Give me a break I wasn't born in the 70's" He continued to perfect what he thought was good dance moves. "That's really funny!" Seras was trying to copy Pip's movements. Alucard was laughing even more and Walter just stood there feeling like an idiot.

"This is really fun, Why don't you try Master" Seras was actually pretty good. "Hey I have a good Idea" Alucard was scheming and Walter could tell. "I say we have a party" He showed his fangs in delight. "I really don't think that Sir Integral would care for that" Walter did not like the sound of this at all.

"I agree, after all we are all bored and we can get our groove on" Pip was having way to much fun. "That's my point she needs to have some fun" Alucard said. He to was giving a go at trying the disco moves. Although when you are close to 7" tall you look kinda stupid.

"But if we have a party wouldn't we need a theme of some sort?" Seras asked she had finally stopped dancing. "Yeah, and some funky clothes!" Pip said swinging his hips which only made Seras laugh more. "Oh what the hell, Auther and I still have some of our stuff in the attic" Walter said pointing upward.

"Then lets go check it out" Seras was the first to reach the stairs as everyone followed. "Here" Walter had slid a very dusty trunk from behind some things that were piled to the ceiling. He opened it up and unfolded the strangest pair of pants any of them had ever seen.

"What in the world is that?" Alucard touched the hem and was surprised to find it had a kind of silky feel. "These are made of polyester, They go with these" Walter handed the pants to Alucard and dragged out a very colorful shirt and shiny black shoes.

"Wow that's just like the stuff in the movie I saw!" Pip said taking the shoes from Walter. "What movie was that?" Seras asked looking further into the trunk and pulling out other articles of clothing. "It was called Saturday night fever" He said trying on the shoes. "Oh I have to say that John Travolta can sure dance" Walter said in respect. "I say we all find an outfit and start this party!" Alucard said grabbing a white shirt from Seras.

Ok how do you like it so far. I am about to make this thing really funny. Imagine Alucard in bellbottoms and a white silk shirt lol. Please review more stuff coming soon!


	2. Chapter 2

Disco Queen chpt 2

Ok so far we know that Alucard has come up with an Idea for a party! This is gonna be good. Originally this was my mom's idea. Well it's not like she's writing it lol. Enjoy!.

Integral decided to go out for a while and that is when Pip, Seras, Alucard, and yes even Walter decided that this is when they should throw the party. They had all practiced dance moves and even ordered special shoes,

Accessories, and all kinds of party things.

"This is going to be so cool" Pip said hanging a neon colored streamer up. "Yeah I can just see her face when she comes back!" Seras giggled as she blew up a balloon.

"OK guys what do you think?" Alucard had walked in wearing a white silk shirt with a huge peace sign in the middle, and lime green and electric blue bellbottom pants. "Oh..my..gosh!" Seras was laughing so hard she was choking.

"Never will I make pants for someone who is nearly 7" feet tall!" Walter joined Alucard wearing the most ridiculous looking shirt they had ever seen. It was bright yellow, with neon wording that read Narly, He also wore black and brown cow leather tight pants.

"Ok, people really didn't dress this bad, did they" Seras asked as she noticed Walter standing there. "Yes Seras they did, by the way this is for you" He handed the girl a brown bag. "Yuck it's putrid looking!" She wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Not when you put it on" The old man explained handing Pip the other bag.

"It's pink" Was all Pip could say after peering into the bag. "Shut-up and go put on your clothes, this is supposed to be a party!" He was not amused by the way they had acted.

"Alright don't get ya panties in a wad" Pip walked out. "I swear kid's now days, never satisfied" Walter adjusted the tight pants. "Aren't you about to die in those things?" Alucard asked grinning. "NO I can't come to the fact that I can't fit into them anymore!" He carefully sat down careful as to not rip them.

"So whatcha think" Pip walked in wearing a tight pink shirt with ruffle sleeves and black leather pants with the peace signal going down both sides of his pants. "Your very colorful" Alucard said his eyes watering from laughing.

"That's nothing baby!" In walked Seras in a lime green jumpsuit with hot pink straps and multi colored fringe at the waist. She pranced around like a ballerina. "Oh yeah hot stuff baby" Pip toyed around with her. "You look like one of the village people" She shot back. "OK enough playing around let's get busy she'll be here any moment!" Alucard interrupted them.

The place was decked out. There was black light posters everywhere, balloons tied to every post, and all different kinds of steamers. Walter had all kinds of entree's he could think up. There was disco music playing and four very colorful people waiting on the very stressed out Integral.

What nobody knew was that Integral had a very nerve wracking day and just wanted some quiet. As her chauffeur drove up into the driveway she could here the insanely loud music but couldn't exactly make out what it was. "IM going to kill them" Was what she said between gritted teeth as she eased out of the car and practically marched up the stairs to the front door.

"What in the hell…." She stopped looking around at all the color and the overwhelming smell of food. "Surprise!" All four of them yelled. "What in the world?" Suddenly after the hard day she had had and the sight of the party and on top of that the way they were dressed sent poor Integral into a mad laughing fit.

"Come in we have an outfit for you to" Walter took her gently by the arm and guided the still laughing Integral to a room.

"A few minutes passed and finally she came out with a red and black ruffle shirt with draw strings, and black leather pants with neon colors mixed in. Everyone agreed she looked pretty good.

"Ok since you have wrecked my house, someone has to teach me how to dance" She said with an evil smile. "Here I will" Walter said stepping forward, only to find himself gently pushed aside. "I think I can handle this, I take full responsibility" Alucard said taking Integrals hand.

"Fine then I get to dance with you" Pip grabbed Seras by the waist. "No, I think you need to dance with your ego" Seras pulled away and grabbed the surprised Walter. "Besides this one has experience".

"Ouch, I think you would do better without the shoes" Alucard's feet were aching as Integral tried out her moves for the hustle. "You said you took full responsibility" She stepped onto his toe on purpose. "That doesn't mean you have to put me through agony!" He said gritting his teeth. "You asked for it" She was purely enjoying having control. "I was only being cocky!" He winced as she hit his foot again.

"This stuff is good, what is it?" Pip asked as he filled a plate full of food. "It's fried frog legs, we had a bit of a frog problem out back, so I found a use for them" Walter said watching Pip's face turn green and trying to keep a strait face. "Your lying I just know it!" He stared down a the portion of meat.

"He is, it's chicken, I saw him pluck the bird" Seras laughed as he placed the plate of food down and ran out of the room. "It's not really frog is it?" She asked. "No your right it's chicken" Walter hadn't had a good time in so long he was going to enjoy every second of it.

They partied for hours. When all of them had enough, you had a drunk Pip, A vampire with sore feet, A younger vampire complaining of eating to much, A sleeping butler, And Integral who was still wanting to dance despite Alucard's protest to quit for the night.

The place was a wreck, the food was scattered, there were streamers and popped balloons that littered the floor, and a maid service who dreaded the next morning.

The end!

Ok hope you liked. I had trouble with Seras's name, I kept wanting to type Sears lol. OK let me know if it was crappy or not and if you have any other ideas.

Thank you ever so, Until next time the conscience!


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